My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
