Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
