we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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