I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
