shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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