**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize