well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
