apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
