i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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