Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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