You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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