True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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