Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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