Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
you win again, gameday.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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