hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
