When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize