so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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