I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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