its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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