Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
