Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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