Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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