I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
