I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
