i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
