I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
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