i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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