Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize