u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
