i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
