I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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