We're facebook friends in real life
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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