come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
