I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
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