do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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