dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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