Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
