We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
