ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
