that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
