i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
