I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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