dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
