dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
