i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
