so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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