But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
