She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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