You're a womanizer and a bitch.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
