i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
