At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
