come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
