You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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