My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
