Where is the hickey?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
