I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
