I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
