I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
